Wednesday, May 30, 2007

Amy Winehouse has nothing on me

This is me 15 or so years ago, when I had the time to rock a mean beehive, and some fine vintage. I am all decked out to be a judge in a drag pageant

Hello from the land of Stroke 'N' Stress!

Things are moving along simultaneously at the speed of light and at the speed of molasses.
The mother thing is still a hell of a quagmire for many, many reasons.
Thanks to everyone who has written from the land of 'oooh, my parent(s) are evil too, hang in'. It warms me in special places to be reminded that not everyone lives in the land of Ozzie & Harriet.
My true confession this time is until yesterday I haven't been able to knit or spin. Really, the healing power of fiber arts just skirted around my ass. The mother stress completely shut down the creative part of my brain.
How do I know for sure? I spent a blissful 4 days teaching in Austin (Word to the HCW-girls!)
happy & relaxed, playing with my friends - I managed to design 3 garments & start knitting on them. I got back home & the need and desire to work my little fingers stopped as abruptly as Coyote flaming out

Instead of knitting I've been controlling my stress by working out. For the past 2 or so months I've been working out every day, and I feel better, stronger inside and out.

So I'm taking all of this as a wake up call that really there's only so much time.
Really, I'm making a WTF list, more like a Why The Hell Not list, Carla's playing & Pippi and Amy.
It started with the unquenchable desire to learn to surf before I'm 50 (I'll be 44 next week) and if that little want didn't open all kinds of secret doors. I actually got to write things down and check them off - write and publish a book, check. Go to all of the States in the United Republic of George Bush Sucks Donkey's, well I've played in 48.

Then I watched the first two seasons of Buffy all in a row and KNIT, I knit until I could barely lift my arms, and it was good. Something for me, not for a book, magazine, or anything work or deadline related, just me.
Hee, hee, just for me


Blogger Pippi said...

I love that behive!
I'm so happy to see you posting, I could pee.

FWIW, I have been feeling like that coyote, recently myself. & The feeling of time zooming by, yet oozing slow. GAH! I hate that.. In my world I refer to that as 'overwhelmingly underwhelmed' (and vice versa)

Learning to surf, eh?
Sounds like a trip to the islands is in order!

Glad to see you surface!

12:43 PM  
Blogger jacquieblackman said...

My eyebrows are scorched you're so hot!

I've been sending good vibes your way. I hope you've been catching 'em!


1:35 PM  
Blogger Trish said...

So glad to have you back in the land of knitting. Sometimes stress sucks the life out of you so much that you forget what you love.

I too want to surf, but am a total chicken sh** so, I wish you well and hope you catch a wave or two for me :)

3:25 PM  
Anonymous Emma said...

You were, and are, gorgeous. Love the beehive.
Just for you is always the best. You will show and tell, won't you ? Unless, of course, you'd rather not.
I, too, feel almost completely overwhelmed. Chucking gallons of Bach flower remedies down my neck. It's hard, sometimes, to have enough perspective to allow yourself to just let some things go. Says she !
Anyway, lovely to read your words again.


6:09 PM  
Blogger Birdsong Designs said...

Ha- I think Buffy is part of some instinctual survival method.

I have recently been stressed and started watching every Buffy ever made, back-to-back to back. Then I realized that the last time I did this BTVS marathon, I was in one of the more miserable jobs I've ever had- it seems to be a good rx: got stress? watch Buffy.

(avoid season 7. not good for feelings of overwhelmedness)

10:24 PM  
Anonymous Susan said...

welcome back! so good to hear from you.

8:45 AM  
Blogger knitserland said...

Been checking your blog recently and was getting worried about the lack of posts.

So glad you have touched base again!

When it rains it pours, yeah? good and bad.

Hope things start looking up again soon and it's so good to know you are carving out some 'me' time.

3:26 PM  
Blogger Beth said...

I've missed you. Not in that way! Get your mind out of the gutter, girl. More in the "you are a rock star knid of way"
Come over an spin if you ever get a minute. I haven't seen you in months and the shop is always morphing.

7:24 PM  
Blogger Julie said...

Welcome back!

9:52 PM  
Anonymous gail said...


8:26 AM  
Anonymous kelle said...

Glad you're back!

8:51 AM  
Blogger Lynn said...

Hey, been thinking of you. Not that you know me, but anyhow...

So happy birthday, girl, remember to keep having fun just for you!

12:45 PM  
Blogger Pooch said...

I can connect with your stress level and will certainly pray for you. Having recently experienced a somewhat similar situation with my mother, I can tell you that as taxing as this is now---you will never regret having done all that you can for your mother.

It is a strange feeling to be in the world without a mother regardless of the relationship.

Be blessed.


2:48 AM  
Blogger Kimberly said...

Glad to see you are hanging in there. We've missed you!

4:40 PM  
Blogger jothemama said...

Hey there, I found your pattern because I've resloved to learn to knit, met a friend through her blog online and went to my first Stitch and Bitch! Saw your blog and thought, she looks like us!

Here's mine
and my new mate's

Sorry to hear about your mom, it's tough.

I'm aspiring to be good enough to do the beautiful little girl's cardigan.

I love the idea of knittin', bloggin' complainign moms around the world! We're in Ireland. Wave wave!


4:59 PM  
Blogger jothemama said...

Oops, fogot to mention my own Buffy mourning - and the OC is gone, and Lost is over for now - I miss all my good telly...

5:00 PM  
Blogger jothemama said...

Oops, fogot to mention my own Buffy mourning - and the OC is gone, and Lost is over for now - I miss all my good telly...

5:00 PM  
Blogger Shannon said...

Unholy beehive, Batman! That is some awesome B-52s-y hair! LOVE IT.

Buffy cures all. Oh yes.

9:44 PM  
Anonymous Jackie said...

Not only did you totally pull of a beehive, but you judged a drag contest. My jealously cannot be quantified!

2:16 PM  
Blogger Carol said...

I stopped checking your blog for a while, but I hadn't realized just how long until today. A belated note to say that I'm glad to hear you're hanging in. Having just run into you a few months ago, I can honestly say you so do NOT look like you are in your forties. I'd have pegged you at around 37, 37 and a half tops.

If you ever want to talk or chat via email, just holler. My family also manages to take the "fun" out of dysfunction and I send you much love and many hugs.

4:36 PM  
Anonymous gail said...

That is one lush photo, and I enjoy it every time I check by here. You've been posting over at Knitty, thanks.

Take good care of yourself, too!

8:25 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

I saw your book at the store today and loved it! and I loved the curvy girls in it! especially since I have had the great pleasure of meeting some on my path to plus modeling! I would love to model for you someday if you would like! you should have some shoots and post pics on this blog! Check me out sometime,

keep up the great work!

8:43 PM  

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